Video: To write an opening that hooks (setting focus)

﻿Hello super storytellers, and welcome to this English lesson. This is lesson eight from unit four, and my name is Ms Cashin. Today we are going to be doing some writing of our own. So I am very excited. We are going to be writing an opening that hooks the reader in, and we're going to write that opening that hooks the reader in, by thinking about a setting and creating a vivid setting for everyone, who wants to read about. And everyone who wants to find out more about. We have been learning all about the story of Baba Yaga and we know that story really, really well now. If you're not sure about that story, remember you can always go back and hear it again in lesson one of this unit. Let's have a think about what we know about Baba Yaga. I wonder who can tell me, what does the fish give to Olga? What does the fish give to Olga? Can you tell me? It's a shell, the fish goes down picks the shell up and says "you have helped me, so I will help you." I wonder what does the mouse give to Olga? What does the mouse give to Olga? Can you tell me? It's the stone, the mouse goes down into the hole and brings out the stone and says "you have helped me so I will help you." What does Baba Yaga give to Olga? I wonder what does Baba Yaga give to Olga? Can you tell me? That was a trick question. Baba Yaga doesn't give anything to Olga. She just chases her, and chases her, and chases her until that stone turns into a mountain and she can't get around it. Let's have a look at what we're going to be doing in our lesson today. We are going to start with a punctuation activity. Then we're going to think carefully about our setting before we do our writing. So we're to use our box plan of the opening that we made in lesson seven, and we're going to use our drawing of the setting that we made in lesson four. If you don't have those things don't worry. You can still do today's lesson, but if you do have them they will really, really help you with your writing. Then we're going to do our independent writing. We're going to write an opening that hooks the reader in, by building a vivid setting in their imagination. So I'm really looking forward to getting to that bit of our lesson today. These are the things that you're going to need for our lesson. You're going to need something to write on. It will be brilliant if you have some lined papers so that you can write your setting really neatly. You're also going to need something to write with, a pen or pencil, and you're going to need your brilliant brain for all that fantastic writing that you're going to do. It would be brilliant if you could also get your box plan and your setting. So if you need any of those things, you can pause the video and go and get them now. You are all ready for our lesson. What a superstar. Let's get going. Okay, we're going to start with our punctuation activity. We have been learning in lesson six this unit about the Possessive Apostrophe. This is an apostrophe that we put in a word to show us something belongs to someone. I am going to read this sentence now, and this sentence you could also use your setting later. So it's going to give us some lovely ideas. Here we go. The squirrel's tail was bushy. I can read it again. The squirrel's tail was bushy. Get your finger. Can you point the apostrophe in the sentence? Where is it? Huh! Did you find it? It's in the word squirrel's, the squirrel's tail. We put the apostrophe before the s to tell us the tail belongs to the squirrel. It's the squirrel's tail. Well done spotting that possessive apostrophe superstars. Let's go on to our next sentence. I'm going to read it. The bird's singing filled the air. I feel like I'm in that forest and I can listen to the bird's singing. I'm going to read it one more time. The bird's singing filled the air. Can you find the possessive apostrophe in the sentence? Where is it? Did you find it? It's in the word bird's. The bird's singing filled the air. Singing belongs to the bird. So we put the possessive apostrophe just before the s. Let's have a look at our next sentence. It's a bit of a longer sentence. So it's going to be a bit tricky to find the apostrophe. Get your magnet eyes ready on the first word when, and I'm going to read the sentence. When Olga looked out of the window, she could see the stag's antlers. I'm going to read it again. When Olga looked out of the window, she could see the stag's antlers. Can you get your finger? And can you point to the possessive apostrophe? Where is it? Have you found it? It's in the word stag's, the stag's antlers, the antlers belong to the stag. You've got a possessive apostrophe there just before the s. Here's what you're going to do today with our possessive apostrophes. I've got a picture here of the inside of the cottage. And I thought it looked just like the inside of Olga's cottage. You need to write three sentences about this picture that include a possessive apostrophe. So you need to look at the picture and think, who might some of these things belong? I've given you two sentence starters to help you. The first one says Olga's, and I've got my possessive apostrophe there just before the s. So I can say, Oh, Olga's view was beautiful. That view out the window is gorgeous. Olga's view was beautiful because it's her view. My next sentence starter says, her mother's. Let me have a look around what can belong to her mother? I going to choose that carpet on the floor. Her mother's carpet was red and green. The carpet belongs to her mother, her mother's carpet. And I've got my possessive apostrophe just before the s. You can pause the video now and have a go write to your own sentences. And you might have a sentence that begins with her father's or with Sergei's. So pause the video now, to do your contrition activity. Well done superstars, make sure that you have checked that you have a possessive apostrophe in all the sentences that you have written. Absolutely brilliant. Let's see what else we're going to do in our lesson today. Okay, now we're going to use our box plan and our drawing of the setting to think carefully about what are we going to use when we do our writing. So you're going to watch me do that now. And then you're going to have a go at doing it independently. I've got here, my box plan at the opening, and I've got my picture of my setting. So I'm going to think about both these things before I go into my writing. So I'm going to really focus on my first picture, because this is where I have my setting. So, I want my readers to feel calm and peaceful. I actually added another word and it's stunned. I really want them to feel stunned by the beauty of where Olga lives and then when they're feeling really calm and peaceful, it'll be a bit of a shock for them when they hear about Baba Yaga. So I really want to think about that mood. I want to make sure that I include the tall trees. I'm going to write that word down. Actually I already helped me. Tall trees and also the calm lake. I thought that was a lovely phrase that I had. Put calm lake that remind me, okay let me go on and look at my setting now. I really want my readers to imagine that they are in the middle of this forest and they can see everything around. So I want to think about, or maybe the bird's singing. So I might circle that just to remind me that I really, really, really want to include that. And I can say, or can say beautiful bird song. That was beauty to say. I'm going to jot down be a utiful. Just to remind me that I might want to use that word. So I might circle him because I definitely want to include him. I've got these tall trees again. On the lake this time I've got some fish. So I might say that there could be some silver fish. Sil ver, silver fish. Fi ish Fantastic, so I'm really pleased that I thought about all the different things that I want to include and how I want my reader to feel. And what I want them to imagine. Now that you've seen me have a look at my box plan and my setting, it's time for you to have a go. Remember, you need to have a think but you might also say some of those words out loud, and even jot a few down. I've got some sentence starts here so you can think about what you want the reader to feel when they read your brilliant opening. So you say, I want to use, you might say, I want to use the word. You might say, I want to use this picture. You might say, I want to use this animal. I want the reader to imagine, and I want the reader to feel. So you've got three things to think about there. You can think, you can talk, or you can write. So go and have a go see you've got all your ideas ready before we do our writing. Congratulations super storytellers you are now ready to do your writing. So we're going to have a start now at writing opening that hooks the reader by building that vivid setting. So they really feel that they are calm and peaceful in the middle of that incredible forest. So I'm going to write a sentence. You're going to write a sentence and when we've done three sentences together, then you can go and continue it by yourself. So let's see what I did for my first sentence. So I've got my very first sentence here and now we're going to write sentence together. So here's my very first sentence. Once there was a girl named Olga. I've got my capital letter and my full stop. And I've got a capital letter for Olga because it is a name. My next sentence. I'm going to say, she lived in a cottage. I'm going to have a think in a moment about how I could describe that cottage, but she lived, is my starter. So that's one of my tricky word she, we just have to know it. It's s, h, e, she lived that's got e, d ending li ved. Li i v, lived she lived in a, how can I describe that cottage? Or I could say a small, but I do want it to sound nice. So I'm going to say small cosy cottage. She lived in a small cosy cottage. Cottage is a bit of a tricky word, cottage with a g sound at the end, but it will be on the side for you. She lived in a small cosy cottage. I've got two adjectives to describe my cottage. So I'm going to put a comma in between them. She lived in a small, cosy cottage. I could have my full stop there, but I'm going to extend this sentence using one of our prepositional phrases at place. So I'm going to say where the cottage was. She lived in a small, cosy cottage on the edge of the forest. On the edge, so its edge and our g sound is d, g, e. on the edge of a forest. I'm going to read it from the beginning now. She lived in a small, cosy cottage on the edge of a forest. Full stop at the end, fantastic. Now it's time for you to write your first sentence. I've given you my very first sentence. Once there lived a young girl named Olga, and you can copy this sentence down if you want, then I've given you the beginning of my next sentence. You can use this if you want, or you can use your very own sentence. Remember to think about full sentences with capital letters and full stops. And then also think about, have I built a vivid setting? Have I really described what is happening in my forest? Have I made the reader feel like they're there? Have I used any of my prepositional phrases? So that they know where things are in the picture. So have a go at writing your very own sentence. Pause the video now to do that. Well done for writing your first sentence. Absolutely brilliant. Remember to go and check, have you got your capital letter and your full stop? Now you're going to see me write my second sentence. In my next sentence, I'm going to describe some of the things in the forest. So I'm going to start the sentence with, in the forest. I've got my full stop here from the end of my last sentence. So I'm going to say, in the forest. Capital I, In the forest. What three things could I say were in the forest? I've got my tall trees, beautiful birds. And maybe I can include that fidgety squirrel again. Okay, in the forest there were got two tricky words that we just need to know. There t, h, e, r, e and were, w, e, r, e. I'm going to check my sentence. In the forest there were tall trees. I want three things so I'm going to put a comment here. In the forest there were tall trees, beautiful birds, b, e, a, utiful. In the forest there were tall trees, beautiful birds and could say squirrels. I was going to say fidgety squirrels, but I think I'm going to say squirrels with bushy tails. Squirrels with bushy, how am I going to spell bushy. Use my sounds b ssh e with bushy tails. I'm going to read that sentence out loud to check it. In the forest there were tall trees, beautiful birds and squirrels with bushy tails. I really think that the reader has got a good idea of what this forest looks like. Now that you've seen me write my second sentence, where I described these three different things in the forest, it's time for you to write your second sentence. I've given you the start here, but you can always use your own sentence. Remember to think about your capital letters and full stops and keep thinking, have I really built a vivid setting in my opening? So pause the video now to write your second sentence. Well done for writing your second sentence. Remember to check if it's got a capital letter and a full stop. Now you're going to see me write my third sentence. I've already described the squirrel, the trees, and the birds. I'm going to have to think about this field here. So I want to use one of my prepositional phrases of place. So I'm going to say, opposite the house. Opposite the house, the field was full of flowers. I love that. Opposite the house, the field was full of flowers. I can even say, opposite the cottage. That might be a bit better, okay. So finish this sentence. So opposite needs a capital O. Opposite the cottage. And cottage has got that g sound at the end. We're going to try and remember that. What was my sentence again? Opposite the cottage, the field was. This is my tricky word. You just need to know it w, a, s. Opposite cottage the field was full of flowers I can describe these flowers. I'm going to say, full of bright flowers, bright b, rii, ite. Full of bright flowers, full stop. Okay, I'm going to read my sentence back. Opposite the cottage the field was full of bright flowers. I can hear a bit of a pause when I read that. So I think I need my comma there. Opposite the cottage, the field was full of bright flowers. Well done for writing your second sentence. Now you've seen me write my third sentence. It's time for you to write your third sentence. I've given you the starts that I used here, opposite the house, but you can come up with your own sentence. Remember to think about your capital letters and full stops and keep thinking, have I built a really vivid setting in my opening? Pause the video now to do your third sentence. Three whole sentences done. If you read those back I bet that the reader will feel like they are really in that forest. There's calm and it's peaceful. And then when they find out about Baba Yaga, they are going to be shocked. I've got a challenge for you here. Can you continue this opening paragraph independently without me? I've got some questions that you could think about to help you with your ideas. What else is in your setting you want to tell your reader about? Are there any things you haven't mentioned yet? I haven't mentioned the sunshine. However, you describe what the cottage looks like. You could even go inside the cottage. What sounds and smells are there in the forest? What animals can you hear? Where are the characters and what do they look like? So you could say Olga stood next to the wooden cottage, and you could describe Olga's outfit. You could describe her parents being ready to go work in the fields and tell me what they're holding. So if you would like to, you can now go and finish your opening paragraph. So you've created your very own opening for the story that hooks the reader in, by telling them all about the setting. So you can pause the video now to go and do your Challenge Task. You are such a storytelling superstar. Well done for doing your Challenge Task. Let's see what you could do if you would like to share it. It would be amazing if some of you could share your work with Oak National, because I would love to see the amazing settings that you have created. So if you'd like to, please ask your parents or carer to share your work on Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, tagging @OakNational and #LearnwithOak. I would love to see some of the settings that you've created. In our next lesson we're going to try to write a different opening. And this time we're going to use some action to make a really exciting opening. So if you've done some brilliant writing say, you can do even more in our next lesson. Bye.

Lesson summary: To write an opening that hooks (setting focus)

In this lesson we will write our own opening that hooks for Baba Yaga. We will focus on building a vivid setting.

English

To write an opening that hooks (setting focus)

Video

Lesson summary: To write an opening that hooks (setting focus)

Time to move!

Browse Oak's lessons:

Take part in The Big Ask.