﻿Hello, everyone. Miss Barron here, and welcome to lesson nine in our recycling unit when we are changing the story "Anansi and Tiger" to make it our own. Now, I have got a fun fact for you about ogres today. I wonder if you knew this. Did you know that ogres can shape-shift, which means that they can change into any other creature they like. Now, I wonder if you were an ogre, what creature would you change into and why? So I think I would change into an eagle so that I can fly above the sky. I want to be able to soar and look down over the world beneath me. I wonder which animal or creature you would change into and why. Do you think you could have a think about that and tell me at the end of the lesson? So let's get on with the learning today. I'm going to tell you what are we going to be doing. In today's lesson, we are going to continue writing the middle of our recycled stories. So we're going to finish writing about how Anansi tricks Ogre today. Now, I love this trick in my story. So I'm really looking forward to writing it. I hope that you are too. Now, this is what the lesson is going to look like in a bit more detail. First, we are going to sing our "Action That is Clear" song to remind us what we need to do as writers to make it really clear what happens in our story. Then we're going to do some shared writing, and then you're going to have a go at some independent writing, writing one or two sentences of your own. Now, in this lesson, you will need an exercise book or a piece of paper to write on and a pen or pencil to write with. You will also need your boxing up grid and your story that you have written so far. So pause the video now and go and get those things if you need to. Amazing job. You're back and ready to start the learning today. So let's begin with our "Action That is Clear" song. Now you know it really well by now. So are you ready to sing with me? Let's go. ♪ You've got to show what happens step-by-step ♪ ♪ You've got to show what happens, where and when ♪ ♪ You've got to show what happens, how it looks ♪ ♪ You've got to show what happens ♪ One more time. ♪ You've got to show what happens step-by-step ♪ ♪ You've got to show what happens, where and when ♪ ♪ You've got to show what happens, how it looks ♪ ♪ You've got to show what happens ♪ Brilliant. So we sing that song to remind us of the things that we need to do to make the action really clear in our story writing. So let's just have a look at what it says in the green box. So we need to show what happens in a clear order. That's our step-by-step line of our song, isn't it? We need to show what happens where and when. And we also need to show how it looks. So to do that, we are going to add adjectives to add detail. So that our reader can really imagine what is happening in our story at each of the key moments. So those are three key things that we are going to try hard to do today in our writing. Show what happens in a clear order, show where and when things happen, and add some adjectives to add detail to help the reader picture what's happening. Now, let's start by reading back over what we wrote yesterday so that we know where we're starting from today. So put your best growling tiger voices on for me. Are you ready? "Deal," said Tiger. Anansi scurried to dog by the tree. "Oh Dog," he sang. "Is it true you love to play?" He threw a stick. "Fetch!" The dog bolted off, wagging his tail. Anansi snatched his bone. Next, Anansi scuttled to mean Ogre who was sitting by a pile of rocks. Now, these were my two sentences, I had a go at writing on my own at the end of last lesson. I wonder how you got on with your independent sentences. So let's carry on writing about how Anansi tricks Ogre. Now, you can see that I've already started here. So I've started by saying, "'Oh Ogre,' sang Anansi." And you're going to write that same sentence in your story. Now, I carried on my next sentence already. So this is the start of my next sentence. "I know that you are grumpy because." Now, you might choose the word grumpy too. But you might have a different adjective to describe how Ogre is feeling in your story. Maybe it's lonely, maybe it's unhappy. How could you describe how Ogre's feeling in your story? Now, you can see that I've written in that word in purple today. So I had an idea. I thought that I would start writing in two different colours so I can show you more clearly the words that you're going to change and write yourself. So those words or phrases are going to be the words in purple today. So I know that you are grumpy because. Now, let's check boxing up grid. Why is Ogre grumpy in my story? Oh, it's because he's sad and lonely, grumpy. He lives by himself, definitely, that's why. He's grumpy because he lives all alone. So my rest of my sentence, I know that you are grumpy because I'm going to write you live all alone. So watch me write it. You live all alone. You live all alone. Full stop at the end of my sentence. So that is why Ogre is grumpy in my story. Now, I wonder why he's grumpy in your story. Is it because he wants more hair to wear to his party? Or is it because he wants more riches? I wonder what you're going to write in your sentence. Now, your turn to write your first two sentences. So your first sentence is going to be, "Oh Ogre," sang Anansi. So you can copy what's written on the screen. You might like to change the word sang and choose a different verb, for example, called or shouted, up to you. And then, your next sentence is going to be about what Anansi says to Ogre. So I know that you are lonely, unhappy, grumpy, or you might have a different idea of your own. And then you're going to say why, because, mm. So choose from one of the ideas in the blue boxes. Because you live on your own, because you want great hair for the party or because you want more riches. So you might choose one of those ideas, or you might have a different one of your own. Pause the video now and write those two sentences. And now, we're going to write our next sentence. What else does Anansi say to trick Ogre to get him to move off that pot of gold and run down to the lake. So we're going to start the sentence, "Well, there is." So what does Anansi tell him there is down by the lake? Go on, tell me your idea for your story. Why does Ogre move in your story? Ah, brilliant. Yes. Some great ideas there. So you might say, "There is a lovely lady ogre waiting to have dinner with you." Or you might say, "There is the best wig maker with a fantastic wig for you." Or you might say, "There is a magic lamp waiting to grant you three wishes." So I wonder which one you're going to choose for your story. I'm going to choose the first one, aren't I? Because in my story, he runs down to the lake to have dinner with the lovely lady ogre. So my sentence is going to be, "Well, there is a lovely lady ogre waiting to have dinner with you." Watch me writes it. There is a lovely, a lovely lady ogre. A lovely lady ogre waiting, waiting, waiting to have dinner, dinner with you. Well, there is a lovely mediocre waiting to have dinner with you down by the lake. Down by the lake. L, a, a-e, split digraph, k. Lake. Full stop at the end of my sentence. So the bit in purple is the bit you are going to change to make it fit for your story. So let's read my sentence back. Ready? Well, there is a lovely lady ogre waiting to have dinner with you down by the lake. So the words in black, you are going to keep your sentence and the words in purple you might change depending on how Anansi tricks Ogre in your story. Now, you're going to write this sentence. Remember, you are writing a sentence about what else Anansi says to Ogre to get him to move off that pot of gold so that you can grab it. So what does he tell him is waiting for him down by the lake? You might choose, let's have a look at the blue boxes, a lovely lady ogre waiting to have dinner with you. That was my choice, wasn't it? For my story. You might choose the best wig maker with a fantastic wig for you. Or you might choose a magic lamp waiting to grant you three wishes. So choose which one works best for your story. Or you might have a different idea. It needs to fit with your trick, doesn't it, that you chose. So I would like you to fill in the blank in that sentence with whatever is waiting for Ogre down by the lake to get him to move off that pot of gold. Pause the video now and write that sentence. Now, we're going to write our next sentence about how Ogre goes down to that lake. So it's going to start, "Ogre, mm, off to the lake." Now, we're going to write our next sentence about how Ogre went down to the lake. So Ogre, mm, off to the lake excitedly. So we know he's excited. So what verb could we use here, Ogre, mm, off. Instead of went off, what verb could we choose instead? How did he move down to that lake? Go and give me a verb. Give me one of your ideas. Tell me into your screen now. Oh, those are some great verbs. So I heard sped, which I like because it shows how quickly he was moving because he was excited. Sped, I also heard plodded. Now, plodded means to go slowly with heavy footsteps. And I also heard ran. Ogre ran off to the lake excitedly. Now, I don't think I'm going to choose plodded because although it works with ogre because they are big and heavy, I think he's trying to move quickly because he's so excited. So I like the word sped. I'm going to choose the verb sped for my sentence. Ogre sped off to the lake excitedly. Sped, sound it out with me. Sped. Sped. Ogre sped off to the lake excitedly. Now, that word in purple, that verb, is the verb that you might change when it comes to writing your story. Now, your turn to write this sentence. The ogre, mm, off to the lake excitedly. Which verb are you going to choose? Sped, plodded, ran or you might have a different idea of your own. So pause the video now and write that sentence. So now, we're going to write our next sentence showing what Anansi did with the pot of gold once Ogre had got up and sped off. So Anansi, mm, the pot of gold. I wonder what verb we could use there. What did he do to it? Which verb could we choose? Go on, tell me one of your ideas now. Oh, those are some great ideas, and I remember some of those verbs from lesson eight. Well remembered. So I heard you say grabbed, Anansi grabbed the pot of gold. I also heard you say seized. Anansi seized the pot of gold. And I heard you say snatched. Anansi snatched the pot of gold. All great verbs, they all mean took quickly. Now, I think I'm going to choose seized for mine. Seized. You might like a different option, or you might have your own idea. So watch me write seized. My sentence is going to be, Anansi seized the pot of gold. Seized. Now, this is a really tricky word to spell. Watch me write it. Seized. Anansi seized. So there's my verb. And then, the pot of gold. The, T-H-E spells the. Pot, sound it out with me. Pot, pot of, and gold. Sound out gold with me, gold Gold. Full stop at the end of my sentence. Anansi seized the pot of gold. So I wonder what you're going to write in your sentence. Which verb are you going to choose? Grabbed, seized, snatched. Remember they all mean took quickly. So which one do you like for your story? Anansi, mm, the pot of gold. Now, you can write pot of gold yourself. So I would like you to pause the video now and write that sentence. And finally, over to you for some independent writing. So what does Anansi do next? Next, Anansi went to, mm, peacock. So the last word in that sentence that you're going to write is peacock. And I think you can sound that word out by yourself, and then you can see that there is a pink line and that is for you to write an adjective to describe a peacock. So what kind of peacock do you think he is? Is he bossy? Is he proud? Is he magnificent? Or you might have a different idea of your own. So, for example, I might choose, next, Anansi went to proud peacock. Which adjective do you like for your sentence? I would like you to write that sentence down. Pause the video now and do that. Now, we are going to reread and edit our work, just like all great writers. So you're going to help me do it for my piece of work, and then it's going to be your turn. So what's the first thing we do? We need to read back our work, don't we? So read mine back with me. Let's start at the top here. "Oh Ogre," sang Anansi. "I know that you are grumpy because you live all alone. Well, there is a lovely lady ogre waiting to have dinner with you down by the lake." The ogre sped off to the lake excitedly. Anansi seized the pot of gold. Now, I'm really happy with my writing today because I think I've shown really clearly what happens. So let's just remind ourselves what were the things I needed to do from our toolkit. First, I needed to show what happens in a clear order. Have I done that? I think so. First, I have Anansi calling Ogre. Then, Anansi tricking Ogre, and that's this part here, isn't it? Telling him that there's a lovely lady ogre waiting to have dinner with him down by the lake. Then, I've got Ogre getting up off his pot of gold and speeding off, down to the lake. And finally, Anansi seizing the pot of gold. So I have shown what happens in a clear order. Have I said where and when? Well, I have said where, haven't I? In fact, I did that at the end of lesson eight when I said Ogre was sitting by a pile of rocks. And I've also said in today's piece of writing that the dinner is down by the lake. Now, I haven't said when yet, so maybe I could add that in, but let's come back to that. Have I used any adjectives to make what happened clear, to show what happens clearly? Well, I have used the adjective grumpy to describe Ogre and I have used the adjective lovely to describe the lady ogre. So those adjectives really help Anansi to trick Ogre, don't they? Because it's the fact that he's grumpy, which means that he is more likely to get up and try and find love down by the lake. And when Anansi tells him the lady is lovely, well, how could he resist? So I have included everything apart from when. Is there a way that I could add when to my writing? When did this happen? Where could I put that in? I think I'm going to add a sentence in here then. So after Anansi says, "Well, there is a lovely lady ogre waiting to have dinner with you down by the lake." Before I write, "Ogre sped off to the Lake excitedly." I think I'm going to add in a sentence there to say when. So I'm going to draw a little star to show that there's something missing here, and I'm going to put it down here where I've got room to write it. So to say when, I'm going to add the sentence "It was almost dinner time." It was almost dinner time. So watch me write it. Capital I for the start of my sentence. And I'm going to do this in a different colour to show that it's an edit. Something that I've edited in. It was, one of our tricky words, was. Almost. Watch me write almost. Almost dinner, dinner time. Full stop at the end of my sentence. That is the sentence telling the reader when this happened. It was almost dinner time. Ogre sped off to the lake excitedly. Anansi seized the pot of gold. So let's read it through again now with my added sentence in the right place here. So read it with me. "Oh Ogre," sang Anansi. "I know that you are grumpy because you live all alone. Well, there is a lovely lady ogre waiting to have dinner with you down by the lake." It was almost dinner time. Ogre sped off to the lake excitedly. Anansi seized the pot of gold. What do you think, is my writing better now? Is it better? Is the action clearer now that I've added a sentence to say when this happened? I think so. I like the fact that we say it was almost dinner time because then it makes more sense that Ogre speeds off quickly down to the lake. Almost time to meet that lovely lady ogre. So now, I've thought about SAD, swap, add and delete, I've done that. I've added in my sentence for when. I don't want to swap anything, and I don't want to delete anything. So the last thing to do is my five-finger check. So I can see that I have got all of my full stops and capital letters. It makes sense. I've got finger spaces. I've tried hard with my spellings because I sounded things out. And then I really worked hard to spell my tricky words. Now, there's one thing that I need to add and you don't need to worry about this, but I'm just going to show you. Now, here, I have inverted commas around things that characters say. So he finishes speaking, he starts speaking here. I know that you are grumpy because you live all alone. Well, there is a lovely lady waiting to have dinner with you down by the lake. And that is when he finishes speaking so I need to close my inverted commas here. I've forgotten to do that before. There we go. Ogre sped off to the lake excitedly. Anansi seized the pot of gold. So that is me editing my work today. You're going to have a go at editing yours now. So now that you have finished writing about how Anansi tricks Ogre, you are ready to edit what you have written today. So remember the first thing we always do as a great writer is to read our work back to ourselves. So I'd like you to do that first. Then, think about if there's anything you would swap, add or delete, and then do your five-finger check. So check it make sense. Check you've got full stops and capital letters. where you need them. Check your spellings and check the finger spaces. So pause the video now and do those things for your piece of writing today. And that brings us to the end of our learning today. Now, Marcel has come along because he wants to give you a special congratulations. He wants to say a really special well done for all of your hard work on your writing today. In fact, what's that, Marcel? You want to give them a special pat on the back? Go on then, shall we do that? In fact, do you want to join in? Let's all give ourselves a special pat on the back, ready? Fantastic. Now, do you remember at the beginning of the lesson, I said that ogres could shape-shift, which means they can change into any creature that they like. Now, I wonder if you were an ogre, what creature would you turn into and why? That was the question I asked you at the beginning of the lesson, wasn't it? I wonder if you've had a chance to think about it yet. Should we ask Marcel first, what he would change into? Marcel, what creature would you turn into if you could? Oh, interesting. Marcel says that he would change into a peacock because he just thinks that their fans are so beautiful. He fancies looking as magnificent as a peacock does. Now, shall we ask them what they would change into, Marcel? Yes. Okay. So go on then, can you tell us if you were an ogre and you could shape-shift, what creature would you turn into and why? Say I would turn into a, mm, because. Go on, tell us now into your screen. Oh, wow, so many different ideas for different creatures that you would turn into. I heard some of you say that you would turn into fairies. I heard some of you say that you would turn into lions so that you can be king of the jungle. And I heard some of you say you would like to be a monkey like Marcel so that you can swing from trees. Gosh, so many creatures that we could turn into! Wouldn't it be fascinating to be able to turn into another creature? I wonder how long we'd like to be them for? How long would it be until we'd like to turn back into ourselves? So that is the end of our learning today. And I will look forward to seeing you in lesson 10 when we finish writing our recycled stories. We're going to write about our third trick, when Anansi tricks peacock. And then we're going to write our ending. So I really look forward to seeing you then. See you in lesson 10. Bye, everyone. Go on, say goodbye, Marcel. Bye!

Video: To write the middle of a recycled story (Part 2)

Lesson summary: To write the middle of a recycled story (Part 2)

In this lesson, we will be writing the middle of our recycled stories, with a focus on making the action clear.

English

To write the middle of a recycled story (Part 2)

Video

Lesson summary: To write the middle of a recycled story (Part 2)

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