Video: To write the opening

﻿Hi, everyone, how are you doing today? I hope you're having a really nice day. Welcome to our next Highwayman lesson. And I'm excited about this one, because we get to write the opening to the story. You've worked really hard to get to this point, you've come up with some amazing ideas, you've generated some fantastic vocabulary. So I know that you're going to be really successful in this lesson. So I hope you're all feeling comfortable, I hope you're feeling confident and let's get ready to learn. In this lesson, you will need an exercise book or some paper, a pencil or something else to write with, and your brain. You will also definitely need your plan from the last lesson. So if you haven't got any of those things, pause the video now go and collect them, and I'll see you in a second. So let's look at what we are doing today. We've got our writing warm up, then we will get ready to write, then we'll write each part of the opening in very short sections, and then we will read back our writing. Let's look at what our writing warm up is for today. It says, change the underlined word to something more precise. Let's practise saying that word precise. What does it mean? Hmm? So precise means where you choose the best possible word to fit the purpose of the sentence. For example, in this sentence, the highway man galloped along the winding road quickly, is quickly the most precise word we can use, or is there a better word? The highway man galloped along the winding road, urgently, and that gives the reader a little bit more information and a bit more detail about what the highwayman is doing, why he's galloping so quickly, why he's galloping so urgently. So it's a more precise word choice, a more precise adverb choice. So what you need to do is change the underlined word to something more precise in the sentences. As I'm reading them, have a think about what you would change the underlined word to, to make it more precise. Number one, slowly, comma, the sinister clouds swirled around the midnight sky. Number two, the trees' brown branches seem to reach out into the night. Number three, as the strong wind ripped through the trees, comma, the highway man carried on along the road. So you've got four words to change. And I would like you to write the full sentence please. Pause the video now and write your sentences. Have you had a really good go? Shall I show you my examples? So instead of slowly, I thought that the clouds could eerily swirl around the midnight sky. So I started my sentence off with eerily. What did you start your sentence off with? Tell me. Well done. And for number two, I changed the objective to gnarled branches. The gnarled branches seemed to reach out into the night. What did you change the adjective to? Well done. And then for number three, this is my sentence as the tempestuous wind ripped through the trees, comma, the highwayman thundered along the road. So I really thought carefully about my adjective to describe the wind. I thought really carefully about the verb for what the highwayman was doing. What was your adjective to describe the wind? Well done. And what verb did you choose instead of carried on? You chose? Fantastic. Really great work for the writing warm up. Well done We're going to get ready to write. So we need to think about the order of our opening. Remember we're writing a zoom in opening so we start off with the biggest thing and zoom all the way to the smallest thing. So if you've got your plan, because this will be able to help you, what are we writing about first? The first thing we're writing about is let's say it together, the sky. Then we zoom into, check your plan, the moor. The third thing we're going to write about is, the trees and the wind. The next part, the final part we're zooming into, we're writing about, the highway man and the horse. So we will write each part in small sections. I will do a little bit of writing and then you will have some time to do your writing for each of the small parts. Please make sure that you have your plan. And we'll just recap on a few words that we had from our vocabulary planning lesson about the sky, full moon, sky full of wispy clouds, wispy spooky clouds. We have the word ominous, moon shone dimly, midnight sky, and the darkest hour. Take a moment now to look carefully at your plan from the last lesson, because you'll be using lots of these words in your writing. Pause the video now if you just want a few moments to look carefully back at your plan. Or you can look at the one on the screen. So if you've had a really good look, then we could just think about the skills that we need to be successful in today's writing. And these are the skills that I'm going to show you. I want you to make sure that you think, say, write and read every single sentence that you write. You need to make sure you use the most precise descriptive language. So thinking about those nouns and adjectives really carefully, making sure you're using the most precise verbs and adverbs. Now remember precise, we had that in the writing warm up. It means choosing the best possible word to fit the purpose of the sentence. And I'd like you to really think about including at least one complex sentence per section. And most importantly, you've got to have your plan right next to you. So the first thing we're writing about is the sky. I'm going to start off by telling my reader what the night looked like. So I'm going to start off with a short sentence. It was the darkest hour of night. It was the darkest hour of night Short sentence to start our paragraph off with. Now I'm going to talk about the clouds and the moon. I'm going to make sure I use words from my plan, so that I can really write precisely. I'm going to use an as complex sentence, as wispy sinister clouds swirled eerily in the sky, comma, the ominous, comma, ghostly moon peered from behind them. As wispy, comma for my adjective and then my next objective is sinister. As wispy, sinister clouds swirled. I'm going to check my plan for the spelling, I-R-L-E-D eerily in the sky. What else happened? The ominous ghostly moon I think I need to write. Ghostly that really gives a sense of being quite scary. The ominous, ghostly moon peered from behind them. And to read that back to check I've got really careful and precise word choices. As wispy, comma, sinister clouds swirled, comma, eerily in the sky, comma, 'cause I've got my subordinate clause first, the ominous, comma, ghostly moon peered from behind them. Oh I'm really giving my sense a reader of what the setting looks like. My final sentence is just going to be about the moon shining down onto the ground, so that it links really nicely to the next parts, which is where we describe the moor. So I think it could be, there was a faint beam of moonlight shining down to the ground. There was a faint beam of moonlight shining down to the ground And to finish by just reading back full sentences, follow along. It was the darkest hour of night. As wispy, comma, sinister clouds swirled eerily in the sky, comma the ominous, comma, ghostly moon peered from behind them. There was a faint beam of moonlight shining down to the ground. And I think that sets us up really well for when we go and describe them moor in our next part. So you've seen me do my bits of writing about the sky. It's now your turn to pause the video and write your own sentences. You can pause the video on this screen so that you've got the skills to be successful there in front of you. And you've got the reminder that you need to have your plan right next to you. Pause the video now. And I'll see you when we're ready to write the next part. So the next thing we're writing about is the moor. Here are some of the words that we came up with in our generating vocabulary lesson, the misty moor, eerie, vast landscape, bleak, winding roads, the fog or mist covered moor. Now take a moment to look carefully at your plan. And we are on road two now, thinking about describing them moor thinking about what the fog did, what the road did? So pause the video now if you want a few moments to look back at your plan, or if you want to look at this one on the screen. Okay, so I'm just going to remind us about our skills to be successful. What's the first one? Yeah, think, say, write, read every sentence, then we're making sure we can choose the most precise vocabulary. And we're making sure we include at least one complex sentence. And the most important thing is to have our plan right next to us. So I'm going to do a little bit of writing now. And then you will have your go afterwards. So the next thing that we're writing about is the moor. We're zooming in from the sky, down to the ground, and we're going to be describing the moor. And again, you can see I've got my plan right next to me. To help me remember all those great words that we planned earlier. So let's start off by thinking about where the moor is, we could use a prepositional phrase, something like below the threatening sky. Below the threatening sky, a vast expanse of land, comma, which was covered by a thick layer of fog, comma, stretched as far as the eye could see. And I've used lots of words from my plan in that sentence. Below the threatening sky, comma, a vast expanse of land, which was covered in fog got that straight from my plan. In fact, I'm going to be a bit more descriptive, covered in a thick layer of fog, comma, after my relative clause stretched as far as the eye could see. So I've talked about the moor and what else is on the moor? Oh yeah, we need to talk about the road. One lone road, meandered around the hills. I've got that straight from my plan and seemed to never end. One lone road meandered, which you know means wound around, which means it was really bending around the hills, and seemed to never end. Let's read that back. You can listen and follow along as I read back this part. Below the threatening sky, comma, a vast expanse of land, comma, which was covered in a thick layer of fog, comma, stretched as far as the eye could see. One lone road meandered around the hills and seemed to never end. So I've written my bits. And now it's going to be your turn to write about the moor. Okay, so I did my writing it's now your turn to write the part about the moor. You can leave the skills to be successful on the screen. And you must have your plan right next to you. Pause the video now and I'll see you very soon. So, the next part is about the trees and the wind. Here are some of the words that we thought about when we generated vocabulary. Long, gnarled branches, blustery, gusty wind blew through the trees, tempestuous, trees swaying, stormy. And I think we've got all of those on our plan. And now take a moment to look at your plan from the last lesson. Think about the really amazing words that you planned and how you might fit them into your sentences. Pause the video now and take a few moments. Okay, so I'm just going to remind us about our skills to be successful. I want you to be thinking, saying, writing and reading every sentence, and I'm showing you how to do that in each part of my writing, making sure you're choosing the most precise vocabulary, and that you're including at least one complex sentence, and you must of course, have your plan right next to you. So I'm going to do a little bit of writing for a few minutes and then it will be your turn. So now going to zoom in from the moor to the trees and the wind. And I've got my plan there so I can check that I'm using all the amazing vocabulary that we thought about. So let's think about the trees first of all, where can we see them? Can we see them easily or not? It's very foggy remember, so maybe I could start my sentence off with, through the thick fog. Through the thick fog, dark silhouettes of trees could just be made out. And I looked at my plan and I saw that dark silhouettes was one of the ways that we could refer to the trees. Through the thick fog, comma, after my prepositional phrase, dark silhouettes, I'm going to really carefully look at my plan here. S-I-L-H-O-U-E-T-T-E-S. Dark silhouettes of trees could just be made out. That means they could just be seen. So then I'm going to think about how I can link the trees to the wind, hmm? Something about their branches. And I'm going to choose one of those adjectives that I can see on my plan, gnarled, which means twisted. Their gnarled branches swayed rapidly in the tempestuous wind. I've got lots of words there that I can use in from my plan. Their gnarled branches swayed rapidly in the tempestuous, which means really really strong wind and again I'm going to double check on my plan for the spelling for that. T-E-M-P-E-S-T-U-O-U-S, tempestuous wind. I'm going to read my sentences back to you, and you can follow along. Through the thick fog, comma, dark silhouettes of trees could just be made out. Their gnarled branches swayed rapidly in the tempestuous wind. Now it's going to be your turn to write about the trees and the wind, your turn to write about the trees. There are the skills to be successful. And there's the reminder to have the plan right next to you. So pause the video now, and take a few minutes to write your section about the trees and I'll see you when you've done that. So finally we will write about the highwayman and his horse. We came up with these sorts of words when we were generating vocabulary, galloped, raced, thundered, and then some adverbs to help us describe the verbs, urgently, desperately, skillfully. So, take a moment to look at your plan from the last lesson, pause the video if you need to. So I'm sure you don't need another reminder. But here are our skills to be successful. We're using think, say, write, read for every sentence. And I've done that each time in my bits of writing, and I'll definitely make sure I do it in the next bit. Choosing precise vocabulary all the time thinking really carefully about the best word choices and making sure we include at least one complex sentence and making sure that we've got our plan next to us. So I'm going to do my bit of writing, and then in a few minutes, it will be your turn. So we've written about the sky, we've written about the moor, we've written about the trees and the wind. And the final part of our opening is writing about the highwayman and his horse. Now, was he the only person on the moor, or were there lots and lots of other people? He was the only person there, wasn't he? So let's think about using that to start off this section. The whole place was empty except for one man and his horse. Although I think I can be a bit more precise than empty. The whole place was deserted, except for one man and his horse. The whole place was deserted, except for one man and his horse. Now I'm going to think about what they're doing. And I've got loads of precise verb and adverbial detail galloped urgently, thundered skillfully, raced desperately. I'm going to choose thundered skillfully, but I want to start off the sentence with the adverb. The adverb is skillfully. Skillfully, the highwayman thundered along the winding road. And what do I need after my adverbial starter, a comma, skillfully, the highway man thundered, just check the spelling in my plan. Yep, that looks good. Thundered along the winding road. The final part of this section is going to be a little bit of show not tell. Can you see where it is in our plan? His heart thumped or his heart pounded in his chest. Now I'm going to use one of the other ways to refer to him. I'm going to use the outlaw. The outlaw's heart thumped in his chest, and he realised he had no time to lose. The outlaw's, put my apostrophe for possession there. Outlaw's heart thumped in his chest, and he realised he had no time to lose. In other words, he had to get there very quickly, didn't he? So I'm going to read back my sentences and you can follow along. The whole place was deserted, comma, except for one man and his horse. Skillfully, the highwayman thundered along the winding road. The outlaw's heart thumped in his chest and he realised he had no time to lose. So I've written my final part of the opening, and now it's going to be your turn. There are the skills to be successful as a reminder, make sure you've got your plan. And pause the video now, and take a few minutes to write your sentences and I'll see you when you finish those. So in this final part of our lesson, we're going to have a think about reading back our writing. The first question I want you to think about is why we need to do this. Why do we need to read back our writing once we've written it? I would like you to pause the video in a second and have some thinking time and come up with as many reasons as you can. I'm going to set you a challenge at least five different reasons. Why do we need to read back writing once we written it? Pause the video now. Did you have a think? I wonder if you came up with any of the same ideas that I did? I bet you did. The first thing I thought about was to make sure that it makes sense, then I thought about, it really helps us getting a sense of what the reader will feel when the reader reads our writing. And that links to this one, to make sure that we've got the purpose right, to make sure that what we've written matches the purpose of it. So like in the highwayman, where we're writing quite a spooky, scary suspenseful opening, we can read it back and check that we've done that. Also, reading back helps us check and change any punctuation errors. It also helps us check we've used precise vocabulary, and we've really worked hard on that in this lesson. It also helps us check and change any spelling errors that we might have made. And then the last one, I think this is the most important one. I wonder if you can think about what it is. I think the most important reason why we need to read it back on writing is, to enjoy it. And to feel really proud of how hard we've worked and how well we've written. So your turn to read your whole opening out loud, and you don't have to do all of these things. Let me just show you all of our ideas on the screen again. You don't have to do all those things, but you just have to think about in your mind. Those are the reasons why we would read back our writing. So pause video now and take a few minutes to read back your whole opening. Well done. I think that you have worked so incredibly hard today. You did a fantastic job in the writing warm up. Then we got ready to write and then you wrote the whole opening of the story of the highwayman. It's absolutely amazing. And then you had a really good go reading back your work. Congratulations, you've completed this lesson. If you would like to, you could ask your parent or carer to share your writing on Instagram or Facebook or Twitter and you can tag @OakNational and #LearnwithOak, but you must ask your parent or carer to do this with you. I'm really looking forward to seeing you at the next lesson and have a lovely rest of your day.

Lesson summary: To write the opening

In this lesson, we will use our plans to help us write the opening of The Highwayman as a narrative.

English

To write the opening

Video

Lesson summary: To write the opening

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